it’s a new dawn, it’s a new day, it’s a new liiife.

OH HOLY SHIT. i forgot about this thing! and i have been just flipping back in the memory banks while reading it! life has changed so much, but it’s not like any of that matters to cyberspace.

starting my second year of school in a matter of weeks, the first one ended well enough.
my immediate family is moving to california, myself excluded.
and i’m working.

thats all thats of importance really. it seems like a lot has changed, but the essentials haven’t. i’m still me, and thats what matters in the very end, right?

i also started a new blog. i think ill be updating both. this one, going with it’s prior themes, is to be the brighter, and shinier of the two. the other will be slightly more dark and twisty. ohhh well. that one you can find at:

http://tarynsisland.wordpress.com

if the mood strikes.

im overly excited to be back to the blog thing.it’s actually rather good for me, i think. :]

slow down you crazy child

im exhausted. theres too much to say that would upset too many people. you might as well stop reading this; im done for a while.

this is the part where you save me.

alright, so nothing of great consequence went down last night,
im going to start with that.

BUT.
i had a really fun night.

after going to class which was, i’ll be completely honest, not that horrible,
i went to ty and kendra’s.
i planned to stay the night, because i knew i was going to be there late, and who the hell honestly wants to walk in the cold rain at two o’clock in the morning?
no one, thats who.

kendra was apparently very tired,
so she went to sleep really early.

then alicia and ty and i just played mario related games on the n64.
i got the red controller!! its my new favorite. hands down.

and we discovered how we could make personal recordings into our ringtones (who the fuck knew? not me, thats who) so we made up songs.
my ringtone on alicia’s phone is EPIC. 

then walked to petersen’s at like one.
so i guess i ended up walking in the rain anyway.
but, in the process i almost ran over a homeless lady on ty’s bike.
so its not like the trip was without event.

i dont knowww.
i have one class today, and then i’m going to go back to ty and kendra’s because her present is getting here today,
and i have to be present for the unwrapping.

long story short.
it wasnt the night i planned.
but i had a wonderful time. 
probably a better time than i would have had if things had gone according to plan.

park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me.

I think my page-a-day calendar that my gramma bought me for christmas is living my life.

yesterday said;;

tuesday, january 6th.
relationships can be challenging enough without the added burden of keeping past issues alive and vibrant in your mind.

WHOA THERE PAGE-A-DAY CALENDAR. getting a little heavy there, aren’t we? 
i mean, god page-a-day calendar. you don’t know my life.

today says;;

wednesday, january 7th.
if you’re carrying around or still holding on to issues from your past, it may be time to simply let them go.

well played, page-a-day calendar.
well played indeed.
okay. you win.

my one week late new years resolution is to live the way my page-a-day calendar tells me to.
because right now?
i full on agree with my page-a-day calendar.

though, after flipping through my page-a-day calendar just to glance at what my life’s little dollops of wisdom will be for the next year, it would appear that i may have some rough days, and my page-a-day calendar is going to tell me off for not appreciating the little moments in life. 

okay page-a-day calendar.
i can take it.

how many times i’ve said “page-a-day” in this post? nine.
well. now ten. 

 

and on a personal note to the leaning tower of homework i have plopped next to me here on DAY THREE OF THE TERM:
i loathe you, homework. you really and truly suck something horrible.
but it’s okay. because tomorrow is thursday, which is technically my friday.
and by this time tomorrow, i’ll be done with classes for the weekend.

i can totally last through 24 hours of homework-y stress.
no problemo.  

heyyy. I’m going to ty’s tonight.
heyyy. the same people are going to be there that were there monday.
heyyy. what advice do you have on this one, page-a-day calendar? (bringing our tally up to eleven times)

and to this day, when everything breaks you are the anchor that holds me.

yesterday, yesterday.
that would be the 5th of january.

i had a truly wonderful night of fun.
one that i needed more than words can say.

today, today.
that would be the 6th of january.

i let go of a couple things.
things that i needed to let go of a long time ago.

i’m pretty positive that moving on is much, much healthier than believing in something that never had a chance to exist.

my intro to acting class depressed me.
i’ll tell you why, via an email sent to my dearest friends from high school;

i had a theatre class today, and we played all those first day getting-to-know-you type games that all of us have gotten freaking PRO at. im not going to lie. it was nice. i miss being in a room that was so full of energy and laughter and funny noises and funny sounds. i really do. 
but something was horribly wrong. 
you weren’t there. 
it was weird to look into a circle of laughing people and not see you laughing too. it was downright wrong to be standing in that same circle and not know that i’ve slept in the same bed as nearly all of them. i miss your laughter, and your smile.

so this is very precious. no one has our memories. 
we’re growing up and in some cases growing apart. 
but at one point in time, we were eachothers’ worlds,
and that will never change. we can all end up on the opposite side of the world,
but we will always have vrooom, typewriter, god damned MOTHER FUCKING a streetcar named desire. except for josh and alex. but whatever, you suffered through us suffering through it.

and for that, i love you all. 

you really and truly do mean the world to me.

you made the past four years of my life remarkable. 

i truly do miss being constantly surrounded by them. 
in the past four years, i met a conglomeration of people that felt like home.
i hope i never forget how that place felt.

 

tomorrow, tomorrow.
that would be the 7th of january.

i hope something amazing happens.
something that will make me think in a way i never have before. 

i would like you to be a part of my tomorrow.

i really hope you get it and you don’t live to regret it.

i feel sick to my stomach with the very thought of how i feel.

i wish i wasn’t stupid.

 

i can’t wait for the mario party toniiiight.

i went to my art history class, and my teacher seems kind of weirddd.
but i have FRINQ tonight,
then i’m taking a streetcar named desire to 10th and stark.
and then im going to spend a few hours with the people i love,
who make me smile and smile.
and im going to kick some ass at mario kart.
because the red and green controllers came today.

new episode of scrubs tomorrow night.
wooo.

happy happy
joy joy.

 

i miss my sweatpaaaants.

nothing matters but knowing nothing matters

24 full hours of having let go.
i feel good about this.

im glad kendras home.

i got a new phone a few days ago. im beyond thrilled.

i dont miss missing you.